Alex-Onset ADHD

I am totally copying my friend with the title of this post, but it is the best way I've heard this "condition" described! And it's true. My attention span and ability to focus is slowly becoming non-existant. I've struggled this semester in grad school, not because the concepts are difficult, but because it takes every ounce of my focus and energy to, first, convince myself to begin working on assignments and, second, actually finish them. I was supposed to start another class last week, but I dropped it. My current classes end in less than two weeks, and I believe I will barely squeak out a final presentation and research paper before my attention span reaches zero. 

So why such a loss of focus? Well, let's just say that the wait has been getting to me a bit lately, and I think the hardest part is the not knowing of it all. I change our expected travel date range with every bit of new information I get. Right now, it's looking like we will wait until August or September to travel. That will be 10-11 months of "having a child" who is growing and developing every day without us. It may not seem like much to some of you, but being able to travel in July rather than August would make a world of difference to me. And I'm really, really hoping to travel in July. 

I will also say that the long wait leaves way too much time for certain scary thoughts to creep in. Instead of blindly jumping into parent-hood feet first, I find that I have plenty of time to mull over everything that could go wrong. All of the what-ifs. And I'm sure that the what-ifs would seem much more manageable if I had a child to love rather than a picture. Someday. 

So, you may not hear from me for a couple of weeks (unless we get an update). I need to focus my energy on finishing my classes. Then I get to focus on two other exciting things: preparing the house for Alex and pre-Alex travel plans! We are definitely planning on keeping ourselves busy during this wait. Whatever it takes! Just nothing that will affect my future too much... like flunking out of grad school classes. That would not be good.