Our First Days Home

Sorry for the lack of updates. Things have been a bit crazy around here as we adjust to our new life with Alex - especially when it comes to sleep! 

His sleep schedule has been really inconsistent. He has had two long, solid sleeps since we've been home. The rest have been shorter, lighter sleeps, waking up wimpering every hour or so, meaning we have to be there to pat his back until he falls back asleep. And you know what that means - no sleep for Mommy and Daddy!

His grieving has also intensified the last couple of days, usually after waking up from sleep. I wonder if he's having dreams of Korea or his foster family or is just waking up expecting to be in a different place seeing different faces. When he's grieving, he often looks around the room and studies our faces like, "Where the heck am I, and who are you two again?!" It's really heartbreaking when he grieves for his Umma (foster mom), but it's a necessary step in his adjustment to our family. 

On a positive note, he is a really good eater! His foster mom warned us more than once that he "eats like a bird" and is very picky. Not with us! He wants to try everything and anything we put in front of him. He especially wants to eat whatever Ryan and I are eating. Sometimes he makes a funny scrunchy face like he's not sure if he likes what he's eating, but then he keeps asking for more and the scrunchy face goes away. 

He's also been warming up more and more to Ryan. When I'm around, he only wants me to hold him (and he wants to be held a LOT), but he likes to play and laugh with Ryan as well. I've been sneaking off for a little bit every day so that he and Ryan can have some bonding time together (I DO need to shower every once and while!). I was nervous about this because I don't want to ruin anything with Alex's relationship to me, but I think these short sessions have been very positive. He usually starts by running around the house crying and looking for me (which breaks my heart), but after a few short minutes Ryan is able to get him to play with him, and he seems to be okay with Ryan until I come back. 

Ryan let me sneak away this morning for some much needed sleep. I felt really guilty about it, but I wasn't going to be able to be a good Mama without some sleep! I was gone for longer than usual this time, and Alex eventually let Ryan carry him around the house and even outside! He let him feed him and change his diaper. What a relief! Even though Ryan's been working his butt off "behind the scenes," it's been really difficult to be the only one Alex wants to be with and held by. This Mama's arms are sore! (Though, I am developing some nice guns!)

The good news is that, aside from grieving, Alex has been becoming more and more comfortable and we're seeing his personality come out more and more. I'm thankful for our first night together in the hotel, because I believe we got to see his "real" personality that night. Since we've been home, he's been more sullen at times but also quite the little ham other times. Again, it's all part of the transition process, and we're happy to see him progressing little by little. I have to keep reminding myself that we haven't even been home a week yet! I expect things will continue to move in a positive direction, though at times it tends to feel like "two steps forward, one step back."

That's all for now. We haven't been taking many pictures (too busy parenting) so here's a cute one from the hotel to tide you over. As he grows more comfortable and independent we'll start taking a lot more pics. Until then!